Friday, March 7, 2014

Maybe this is a goodbye. Maybe it's a nervous breakdown. Maybe it's global warming.

Sitting here drinking a blue gatorade and listening to All American Rejects.
I hate that I lack the ability to feel more positive about my writing journey, I hate that I feel down once a month about all the things that I am doing wrong. I don't know, it's defeating to do stuff and feel like it doesn't get you anywhere.
Do I want something big to happen? Am I just doing this for fun? What do I want? *shakes head* I don't know and that's what is making me crazy.
I know I enjoy writing, but now I feel like the enjoyment gets sucked out of it when I doubt myself.
I doubt myself for stupid reasons and for valid ones.
It makes me crazy. A little sad and a bit agitated.
And now I am sitting here forcing myself to imagine what life would be like if I just stopped writing altogether....
*sigh* Maybe this is the sign that the fun has been sucked out of it. If I can't even figure out why I feel that way or what to do about it maybe I need to step away.

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